Having “That” Conversation

It usually starts small.

A reliable worker becomes sharp and withdrawn. Mistakes creep in. A normally calm supervisor notices the person is skipping breaks, snapping at colleagues, or making uncharacteristic errors around plant.

Everyone senses something’s off.

And then the moment arrives: you either avoid the conversation (and hope it resolves itself), or you step into it — unsure what to say, worried you’ll make it worse, and quietly hoping “EAP” is the answer.

Here’s the shift: under WHS, psychosocial hazards are workplace hazards that must be managed like any other risk — identify hazards, implement controls, and review effectiveness.  

So the goal of the conversation isn’t to diagnose or fix someone’s life.

The goal is to:

1. support the person safely in the moment, and

2. identify whether work is contributing, so you can apply controls and prevent harm.

The trap: treating psychosocial risk as “personal”

Psychosocial risk is messy because work and life interact — two people can experience the same workload very differently.

But WHS doesn’t let us shrug and call it “personal.” Psychosocial hazards include things like job demands, low support, role conflict, bullying/harassment, violence/aggression, fatigue and burnout — all of which can be influenced by work design and management.  

That’s why “just refer them to EAP” can miss the point: if work is part of the load, controls must change in the work.

The CLEAR conversation framework

A simple structure that keeps leaders in their lane — human, practical, and WHS-aligned.

C — Check your readiness (30 seconds)

Before you start, ask: Am I calm enough to be helpful?
If you’re frustrated, rushing, or reactive, pause. This is not a performance chat.

Leader line:
“I want to check in properly — is now an okay time for a private chat?”

L — Listen first (2–3 minutes)

This is the biggest mistake leaders make: jumping straight to fixing.

Leader lines (pick one):

• “I’ve noticed you seem under a lot more pressure lately. How are you going?”

• “I’m not here to judge — I just want to understand what’s going on for you.”

• “What’s been feeling hardest recently?”

E — Explore the work factors (the WHS move)

Gently separate what’s happening from what work might be contributing.

Leader lines:

• “What at work is making this harder right now?”

• “Has anything changed — workload, hours, role expectations, team dynamics?”

• “Are there particular tasks/shifts that feel like the tipping point?”

This step matters because WHS expects psychosocial risks to be managed through hazard identification and controls — not just wellbeing messaging.  

A — Agree the next safe step (what changes by when)

High-stakes moments need something concrete.

This is where you apply interim controls (temporary safety measures) and create certainty.

Examples of work-based interim controls:

• adjust workload priorities for 48 hours

• add a buddy / increase check-ins

• move them away from high-consequence tasks temporarily

• reduce overtime / change shift pattern

• address conflict pathway / remove exposure to aggression hotspots

Leader line:
“Let’s agree on one change we can make immediately, and one follow-up step by [date].”

R — Refer and record (support + evidence, not therapy)

Referral isn’t a handball — it’s a support pathway with dignity.

Comcare has a practical “conversation guide” for starting and holding mental health conversations at work; it’s a solid reference for managers.  

Leader line:
“If you’re open to it, we can connect you with support (EAP/GP/HR). And on the work side, I’ll take ownership of the changes we agreed.”

Then record only what’s needed for safety and follow-through (more on this below).

A “stay in your lane” rule that protects everyone

A manager’s job is support + safety + work controls — not clinical assessment.

• Stay in your lane:
  Check in privately and listen without trying to “fix” it. Focus on observable work impact and work contributors (hours, workload, conflict, aggression exposure, change). Agree an immediate safe step (an interim work control) and a follow-up date. Then connect the person to support (EAP/GP/HR) and close the loop so they’re not left in silence.

• Don’t cross the lane:
  Don’t diagnose or label (“this sounds like anxiety/depression/ADHD”). Don’t pry for personal details. Don’t promise absolute confidentiality you can’t keep (you may have safety/legal obligations). And don’t try to “sort out” complex allegations informally — use your formal pathway.

• A simple line that helps in the moment:
  “I’m not here to diagnose anything — I’m here to make sure you’re safe at work, and to change what we can control.”

The red-flag escalation (what “high-stakes” really means)

Some moments are beyond normal leader support. Escalate immediately if you see:

• imminent risk to self or others

• a person is unable to function safely at work (severe distress, disorientation)

• threats of violence

• serious impairment (e.g., intoxication) in safety-critical settings

In these cases, follow your organisation’s emergency and wellbeing escalation procedures (and involve trained professionals). (General note, not medical advice.)

Most high-stakes situations don’t need perfect words — they need a steady, practical response. When leaders use a simple structure like CLEAR, they make it safer for someone to speak up early, and they turn a difficult moment into a work risk that can actually be controlled. Over time, these conversations become part of your prevention system: hazards are identified sooner, interim controls are applied faster, and follow-through is visible. You’re not trying to be a counsellor — you’re doing your WHS job: support the person, reduce exposure, and prove the work is safer than it was yesterday.